All's well that ends well

All packed up and after breakfast where something got lost in translation and we each ended up with a humungous full English we start our trek South. Mr Lam and his battered taxi arrived to take us to the Friendship Bridge – half an hour sees us at the border to start our journey south via Bangkok to Hua Hin.  

Check out the hand painted dials in Mr Lam's car

The border crossing was as usual pretty shambolic with lots of people stamping passports and cancelling visas.  Asian queuing is slightly different to ours – no waiting patiently in lines – form a scrum and push for the window is the order of the day – John’s getting very good at handing off old ladies as he forges for the front.  

We cross from Laos into no-mans land, take a short bus ride across the bridge and arrive at the Thai border. Goodbye laid back Laos hello grasping cut and thrust bartering with Thai tuk tuk drivers.  Getting our breath and negotiating a fare with a tuk tuk driver, we met a large group of mainly expats from Malaysia who had all been touring Laos in 4 wheel drives. A couple who originally came from Barrow in Furness turned out to live in Melaka and they gave us some tips of where to stay in Kuala Lumpur  and where to eat in Malaka.  Paul and Dot, a nice lady in her sixties were friendly but her pencilled eyebrows gave her a constant look of surprise.

Getting back into the swing and armed with the Thai word Peng (expensive) we agreed a fee for the ride to the station – luckily we negotiated a ride for ourselves and luggage – other travellers were all rammed in together for what looked like a short but uncomfortable journey.

Everything was going smoothly, we arrived in plenty of time and relaxed with a couple of beers.  The train was on time and our first class cabin would make the 12 hour ride a pleasant and relaxing trip which would see us into Bangkok at 6.30am  but then the wheels came off (not literally). Although we had a confirmed reservation we were told ‘first class carriage not working’ by a smiling guard so second class it was and a little disappointed we joined the train and found our bunks for the night. 

An uneventful if noisy and uncomfortable night seemed to me to go on forever, although John in the more spacious lower bunk slept like a baby. The run into Bangkok shows a different side to the city with some pretty squalid conditions.  We note the street food vendors stalls parked overnight inthese hovels and resolve that no matter how good the food looks we won’t be sampling.  After receiving a refund which was straightforward we watched a couple of irate Germans get very mouthy and demand a full refund and compensation – after about 45 minutes they leave with the same deal as us!

After a donut and an iced coffee we board our next train to Hua Hin. It takes longer for the trains to get out of the City than it does to do the remainder of the journey as roads have to be closed to let the train pass - great in rush hour!

After a picturesque journey the train only arrived an hour late in Hua Hin. We tried to negotiate with a taxi driver who wanted 200 Bht – normally the first quote from taxis is about double the true price – ‘Peng’ said John preparing for the normal negotiation  - instead, the taxi driver shrugged like a Frenchie and wandered off muttering.  We are soon to learn that negotiation in Hua Hin is very different from Bangkok and their quotes leave little room for manoeuvre.

Finally, the Asari – wow wow wow wow  After travelling for 24 hours in the same clothes and carrying our battered backpacks we walked into an oasis of splendour. Check-in was smooth and we were quickly shown to our suite which contains a very comfy lounge,a massive bedroom and a bathroom of similar size which includes a sunken bath big enough for a football team 

Buddhist select XI wait to use bath

... with an indoor and outdoor shower and wet room. I could live in the bathroom! We have our own patio with plunge pool, sun beds and dining area……. Wow wow well everyone deserves a treat for Christmas and that is what we have got.

Brrrrrrr this water is really chilly

We walked through the fantastic grounds to a beautiful infinity pool with the largest sun beds including big recliners overlooking the sea. We plonked ourselves down and immediately fell asleep - I am not sure if we were snoring but when we awoke there was only about 4 people left in this area.

The hotel doesn’t encourage competition and with no beach front bars we went into Hua Hin for some food, essential supplies aka beer and a reality check.  We got the shuttle bus to down town and set about walking through the thronging night market full of everything you could think off and I mean everything. The food stalls all look fantastic but after seeing almost carcase sized bits of animal loaded onto barbecues we stop for a bite to eat. More wow, pork chops the size of Mr Kuzo arrive on plates and the taste was fantasic - we will definitely be returning to try some of the fish which looked so fresh it was still moving. 

No feel of Christmas here but colourful fairey lights are everywhere and you hear the odd Christmas song playing. After buying provisions we strolled back to get the courtesy bus with John trying to stop me looking at all the shoes and lovely clothes and handbags on offer. He will have mellowed in a few days and recognise that a few extra kilos can be accommodated in the back packs (John – you think so?), Watch this space as I have the urge to shop.

One last thing - Paul and Dot called us the 'Armani Backpackers' - travelling about from one comfortable hotel to another - which sums us up nicely, 

so from the Armani Backpackers – Have a very Happy Christmas xx

Looking for Mr Thongdeng

John awoke to the fantastic news that Everton had beaten Manchester City.  In good heart, we planned our day starting with a trip to MAG.   

Lao is the most heavily bombed country on earth and the volume of unexploded bombs (UXO) and the damage caused, particularly to the local population is staggering.  Children regularly look for UXO which they can sell for scrap to dealers getting perhaps 10p per kilo, more if there are explosives present.  MAG devotes time to training teams to clear land to hand back to farmers and also to prevent the horrific deaths and disfigurements caused by US, British, French, Belgium, Russian and Chinese munitions.  Some of the sights were harrowing but we left with an appreciation of the bravery and dedication of the people involved.

On another sweltering day we set course for the Ho Phra Keo temple, the place that kindly let me use its toilet when in desperation I knocked on its door. The temple was the site of the Emerald Buddha until the Thais pinched it in the 1820s.  The temple itself has a half finished feel which is typical of Lao.  None of the temples are generally older than 100-200 years as the place has been sacked and raided many times.  It is so hot- well into the 90s, so we viewed most of the temple from the shady side and very little of the side in full sun.  Afterwards, for fear of dehydration we headed for a few cooling beers and a little food.  John wanted to visit the National Football stadium which is rumoured to house the local gun club.  This was too good an opportunity to miss and we eventually found the stadium. Just a reminder the map is still not to SCALE and we only got lost once on our way. 

We just wandered inside through the open gate past the guard – they have guards for everything although they do not appear to be providing any activity which could remotely be described as ‘guarding’.  John went on the pitch and we wandered about the stands – a few guys were training but no-one took any notice of us - imagine doing that at Wembley?  Unfortunately the shooting gallery was closed so we decided that a little light refreshment was required for health reasons of course…..

One of the stranger things we've seen, and we don't know if it's a joke or not, are posters for missing animals.  We were particulrly interested in the posters for Mr Thongdeng, a chicken which is described as 'Naughty and like fighting' and Mr Kuso, who is one year old and single - not surprisingly for a pig bound for the pot he is described as 'Don't think about the future'.  I was tempted to call the number and report that Mr Thongdeng may have inadvertently joined us for dinner.

When we got back to the hotel there was consternation amongst the locals as the order had been given that the bulldozers were moving in tomorrow to start a new road.   All the little Lao cafes started to dismantle their dwellings whilst the hotel owner’s main concern was about losing the trees which gave much needed shade.  Down the road, one guy was climbing up the trees to pick all the coconuts before the bulldozers moved in.  We will have to watch to see what happens.

Hotel to left - everything on the right is going

Fantastic sunset tonight was observed over a gentle beer.  We were just leaving the bar when we bumped into a couple from Derbyshire traveling to Cambodia in the morning who insisted we share a bottle of ice cold wine.  It would have been rude to decline so we spent a pleasant hour chatting with them before retiring to bed in our new room at the top of the hotel. Not sure why we have been moved but I suspect John’s snoring may have had something to do with it. Off to Thailand tomorrow so long day ahead. 

Keep reading our blog and please spread the word!

Finally, Happy Anniversary Nic and Wayne - we're thinking of you xx

The Long Walk Home

Lazy start to the day after a very comfortable night, and after a spot of breakfast we observed Australian cat-nappers trying to steal a cat from the hotel until challenged by staff.  Incidentally, the cat in question was a jet black kitten with the knobbiest tail you’ve ever seen – all cats here appear to have their tails docked.

We decided to walk to That Dam  (note to self- maps are not drawn to scale). We found this poor little wat which also served as a roundabout looking unkempt and neglected.  We then headed up the Champs Elysses of Asia towards the Laos equivalent of the Arc de Triomphe. From a distance this is a good description. However as we got closer to Patuxai we found the stories about it being built with cement provided by the American’s for an airport were probably true.  John walked up the 194 lung busting steps to the top taking photos of the view. Being afraid of heights I watched the Lao youngster’s copping off by the tacky Chinese fountain which appears to be controlled by the local photographers.

Despite the heat, we turned down a Tuk Tuk wanting an outrageous 70p for the 10 minute ride into town – despite robust discussions the gentleman would not reduce his price so we decided to walk. Reminder – maps are not to scale. We walked and walked and walked and walked - getting hotter and hotter on roads that the map writer and bar owners had yet to discover. Still, if we need to know how to get a tattoo or a car fixed we know where to go.  We even passed a couple of lads with a large cock either on its way to make its owner some money by beating up some other cock or provide Sunday lunch.  With the smell of marijuana in the air and the sun beating down we fantasised about snow and a cool wind.

 

We walked on with no respite, tempers frayed and bladder strained. Bursting for a wee and with no alternative, I gate crashed the Royal Palace which although closed took pity on my look of discomfort  and opened the gate to let me in.

It took two hours to get back to the little eatery from the previous night and we went large in Beer Lao terms – first few glasses probably turned to steam. Back to the hotel for a shower about 8pm we were happier to be cool and clean and headed next door to the local bar for a few more refreshments and a good laugh about the day.

The following day we sensibly arranged for a car and driver to take us to the Pha That Luang – the national monument to Lao sovereignty and to Buddhism.  We arrived before the bus loads of tourists and enjoyed a gentle stroll in the well-kept gardens. Temperature has now gone into the 90s but our air conditioned car provides much needed respite.

From there we head about 30km to the Buddha Park – some eccentric bloke decided to make lots of concrete Buddhas and other statues and put them in a park.  He also built a three storey pumpkin which you can ascend to get a panoramic view of the park.  Health and safety has obviously never been here – steep stairs and a 12 inch high safety rail are all that prevents you taking the quick way down. Lucy bravely struggled to the top where she sat glued to the roof like a fly on flypaper.  The place could have been incredibly tacky, it was just tacky – but was worth the spine jarring ride across roads which felt like they bombed.

Finally, the highlight of the tour, a trip to the Beer Lao brewery.  Funny, I can get ‘watted out’ but we never tire of beer.  Walking in through the front door, we asked the receptionist if we could view the brewery to be told that there was no tour although ‘you can taste the beer’. RESULT - We took a seat and waited for someone to take us to the beer. A lady duly arrived who took us next door to the proper place – not head office where we had enquired. (why do it right).   A cool glass or two of beer was accompanied by a short but interesting video on Beer Lao, and after more beer a short tour round the brewery concluded back at the tasting room for more beer.  Unfortunately, the queue for the beer taster vacancy was so long we decided not to apply.  On the way out John even blagged a calendar for 2011 featuring Miss Beer Laos.  Honestly, can you imagine doing something like this in the UK?

We’re now sitting in a bar waiting for the sunset – catch you later blog mates xx

Ice Cold in Laos

Vientiane – we’ve talked about it, read about it and at last we are here. It’s just like home – grey and chilly. We’re booked into a hotel for one night so wrapping up warm we take a stroll. It is the coldest it has been in Laos for 10 years and even the dogs are wearing jumpers !!!  In fact it is about 60 degrees although the locals have dug out coats, scarves and gloves.

The town is very multicultural with every kind of eatery you can think of, the street sellers let you pick from an abundance of frogs that are killed, prepared and cooked in every way possible – mmmm.  Not surprisingly, we didn’t bother- as couldn’t find any nice big fat ones. 

We settled for a meal in a little restaurant that the Lonely Planet said was good.  John decided to go native and ordered a traditional Laos dinner which included a Lao whisky - not sure if this was to get rid of the taste of the bony sour fish soup or the spicy papaya and beansprout salad  (papaya salad sounds cool and refreshing – but it comes with an adjustable chilli setting of 1-5 + dynamite). John  ordered a weedy factor 2 and given the pain and distress he was in, I dread to think what a 5 would have been like.  Luckily the Lao Beer is cool and cheap and made the remainder of the meal edible. A minced spicy chicken and herb dish was followed by a sweet which I can only describe as something  for filling holes in the wall.  

Lao whisky must be made from dynamite chillies and petrol - after numerous attempts John admitted defeat and left it - a guy we met on the train joined us and he too failed to drink the spirit and I certainly wouldn’t have lit a cigarette near it.

After a good night’s sleep we packed up and moved to the Hotel Beau Rivarge which sits opposite the Mekong River.  Nice and friendly, with an amazing room looking directly onto the river our new hotel is lovely.  The temperature has improved and we are now back into the 70s - strolling around we found a little French café were we met a guy from Hereford and girl from Brisbane who had driven to Laos from England. Their journey through Europe, Iran and China sounded like an amazing adventure and not for the faint hearted, particularly as he was in a wheel chair. Their Ford Transit was in for repairs so they are temporarily stranded in Vientiane - something to do with dodgy diesel  bought in Iran.

 

In the café we also met a lady who lives here and who gave us lots of pointers of where to go.  John got very excited when she recommended a trip to the Lao brewery.  Apparently, the brewery plies visitors with free drink although why the lady went there with someone who didn’t drink beer and a recovering alcoholic was not explained.  I guess you will find out more about that experience when we next blog.

 

From our Asia Correspondent

Keep warm in Blighty  xxxx

At Last it's Laos

We’ve made it at last.  We’ve been talking of coming here for the past three years and finally arrived here in Vientiane this morning.

Yesterday (16^th) we went to the Gem Centre in Bangkok and had a wedding ring made to match Lucy’s engagement ring – we assumed that we would pick it up at the end of our holiday but the salesman assured us that he could get the ring to us at our hotel in Bangkok before we left for the train station.  

The ring duly arrived and after five months I finally got to place the ring on Lucy’s finger – we’re really pleased with the ring which is a perfect match.

Having got the ring we headed for the railway station but couldn’t get a taxi for love nor money – so we headed for the Silom subway in a bit of a sweat.  There’s still a high level of security on the subway and our bags set the metal detectors off and we had a bag search.  Luckily, the subway was the right move as it took us right into the main station.

 We bought essential supplies for the night train – 6 beers and a bag of crisps – and headed for the train.  I was a bit apprehensive of the second class sleeper arrangements but again it turned out to be an enjoyable experience.  We met Martin, a lad from Stoke who has just finished four months volunteering in Cambodia, a Dutch couple from Harlem and a Norwegian.  As the train pulled out at 20.00 we headed to the buffet car and had an enjoyable and boozy night.  Trains are a fantastic way to travel and are so much more sociable than flying.

Last orders were at 11pm and we headed back to our bunks for the overnight trip to Nong Khai.  Top bunks, which are cheaper cost about £12 in second class – they were clean and comfy although the air con was a tad frosty which made the dash for the toilets a bit of a chore.  Let’s just say that the toilets were as expected (squat and bum gun). 

We slept pretty well and got up about 7.45.  As we left Udon Thani, the bottom bunks were changed back to seating and we enjoyed a couple of cups of coffee and an odd breakfast. 

 

We arrived in Nong Khai at about 9.00 and boarded a local train crossing the Friendship Bridge and on into Laos.  The visa arrangements were straightforward if a little slow and we then jumped a cab for the 25 km drive to Vientiane. 

Finally got to a hotel with working wifi so back blogging soon

xx

Hell is for Heathrows

Well we're here!

Thanks to Wayne for a nice trip to Heathrow Airport - after that AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Terminal 3 is an absolute hell hole.  Check in with Thai Air (land of smiles) was conducted by a taciturn bag who didn't even say hello.  After that it went downhill.  Our idea of doing a bit of duty free shopping and a couple of refreshments to send us on our way went quickly out of the window.

Queue for Starbucks, queue for TGFriday, queue for EAT - and disaster queue for the pub which was about 8 deep at the bar - slump - In the end we queued 15 minutes for a bottle of water and a bag of smokey bacon crisps at WH Smiths.

The flight, by comparison was smooth and fuss free - good grub and we managed to get an empty seat in our row of three so lucy could stretch out and kip.  Booze was good too and we started with bloody marys and soon felt more relaxed.

Bangkok is fine - visited the usual haunts and enjoying the warmth. 

Today we've been booking trains and planes with varying degrees of success and I was a bit stressed.  Sleepers were full so we are flying from Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur on 28th.  Tomorrow we're on the sleeper to Laos and our adventures truly begin

J&L xx

A week to go

We can't wait to get going now. 

Lucy's been busy and she's sorted out Christmas in Hua Hin and the New Year in the Cameron Highlands, Malaysia.  

First though a brief stop in Bangkok for wedding rings and then an overnight train to Laos - three years we've been trying to get there and at last it looks like we're going to make it.

Otherwise, not much planning and preparation as we are going to see what comes our way.  Our outline is to start in Vientiane, take a train down to Hua Hin for Christmas, train and taxi to the Cameron Highlands and then head south eventually ending up in Singapore via Kuala Lumpur and Malacca.

 

I don't think we're going to miss Rugby whilst we're away - it was minus 10C today

and I certainly won't miss stuff like this!

Roll on next Monday ..................