The Long Walk Home

Lazy start to the day after a very comfortable night, and after a spot of breakfast we observed Australian cat-nappers trying to steal a cat from the hotel until challenged by staff.  Incidentally, the cat in question was a jet black kitten with the knobbiest tail you’ve ever seen – all cats here appear to have their tails docked.

We decided to walk to That Dam  (note to self- maps are not drawn to scale). We found this poor little wat which also served as a roundabout looking unkempt and neglected.  We then headed up the Champs Elysses of Asia towards the Laos equivalent of the Arc de Triomphe. From a distance this is a good description. However as we got closer to Patuxai we found the stories about it being built with cement provided by the American’s for an airport were probably true.  John walked up the 194 lung busting steps to the top taking photos of the view. Being afraid of heights I watched the Lao youngster’s copping off by the tacky Chinese fountain which appears to be controlled by the local photographers.

Despite the heat, we turned down a Tuk Tuk wanting an outrageous 70p for the 10 minute ride into town – despite robust discussions the gentleman would not reduce his price so we decided to walk. Reminder – maps are not to scale. We walked and walked and walked and walked - getting hotter and hotter on roads that the map writer and bar owners had yet to discover. Still, if we need to know how to get a tattoo or a car fixed we know where to go.  We even passed a couple of lads with a large cock either on its way to make its owner some money by beating up some other cock or provide Sunday lunch.  With the smell of marijuana in the air and the sun beating down we fantasised about snow and a cool wind.

 

We walked on with no respite, tempers frayed and bladder strained. Bursting for a wee and with no alternative, I gate crashed the Royal Palace which although closed took pity on my look of discomfort  and opened the gate to let me in.

It took two hours to get back to the little eatery from the previous night and we went large in Beer Lao terms – first few glasses probably turned to steam. Back to the hotel for a shower about 8pm we were happier to be cool and clean and headed next door to the local bar for a few more refreshments and a good laugh about the day.

The following day we sensibly arranged for a car and driver to take us to the Pha That Luang – the national monument to Lao sovereignty and to Buddhism.  We arrived before the bus loads of tourists and enjoyed a gentle stroll in the well-kept gardens. Temperature has now gone into the 90s but our air conditioned car provides much needed respite.

From there we head about 30km to the Buddha Park – some eccentric bloke decided to make lots of concrete Buddhas and other statues and put them in a park.  He also built a three storey pumpkin which you can ascend to get a panoramic view of the park.  Health and safety has obviously never been here – steep stairs and a 12 inch high safety rail are all that prevents you taking the quick way down. Lucy bravely struggled to the top where she sat glued to the roof like a fly on flypaper.  The place could have been incredibly tacky, it was just tacky – but was worth the spine jarring ride across roads which felt like they bombed.

Finally, the highlight of the tour, a trip to the Beer Lao brewery.  Funny, I can get ‘watted out’ but we never tire of beer.  Walking in through the front door, we asked the receptionist if we could view the brewery to be told that there was no tour although ‘you can taste the beer’. RESULT - We took a seat and waited for someone to take us to the beer. A lady duly arrived who took us next door to the proper place – not head office where we had enquired. (why do it right).   A cool glass or two of beer was accompanied by a short but interesting video on Beer Lao, and after more beer a short tour round the brewery concluded back at the tasting room for more beer.  Unfortunately, the queue for the beer taster vacancy was so long we decided not to apply.  On the way out John even blagged a calendar for 2011 featuring Miss Beer Laos.  Honestly, can you imagine doing something like this in the UK?

We’re now sitting in a bar waiting for the sunset – catch you later blog mates xx